Friday, September 09, 2005


In a quest to find an off-license outside Paddington Station last night that hadn't marked up its wine prices by £3 over supermarket per bottle, I wandered into a newsagent. Success - finally bog standard Stowells wines for a fiver. (Yes I know Stowells are a bit naff, but the other places were charging that much for Blue Nun!) However my elation was short lived when a nutter, wearing a t-shirt with the word wanker on the front of it (quite apt), stuck his face in mine and said aggressively, "Where are you from?" Frankly, this was not a good time, I was already in a pretty foul mood, my train from Worcestershire to Paddington had been delayed by 30 minutes outside Oxford, and I'd already tried 3 off licenses that were rip off city. "Nottingham", I grunted back staring at him, figuring it was safer than saying Chiswick, and somehow saying it makes me feel more assertive. It triggers some kind of primeval caveman part of one's brain.
"Why don't you fuck off back there.. mumble mumble something Leicester," came the response. Charming I thought, what a delightful example of scum we have here. As tempting as it was to launch a tirade of abuse back at him, I am a great big chicken. I broke eye contact and turned back to surveying the wine. Fortunately at that point he seemed to lose interest and left the shop, so I wasn't required to demonstrate any of my l33t fighting skillz (This is good thing, as my l33t fighting skillz tend to consist of standing behind one of my harder mates and shouting carefully constructed abuse).


San de Berg said...

Maybe he was upset that you'd taken the last bottle of sauvignon blanc?

Wreckferret said...

Could be....

Or maybe he was doing a YouGov survey?

Y'know- stand outside a National Station & ask people where they are from. Then give em abuse if they ain't Local!

lol- "R you Local?"

I mean, how may people are gonna reply "Paddington"?!

What a fr33k!

(Hmm- having real luck with comments today- Andy- you'll need to delete the other one)